Uh-oh! You thought you were so over him/her! And yet, there you were, locked in a passionate tryst even more intimate than anything you ever experienced in real life together! You might even be with someone else now. So why is your ex popping into your dreams now? And why were you dreaming of having sex with your ex?
Dreaming of sex with an ex-partner can happen for a variety of reasons, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Equally, these dreams don’t necessarily mean you want to or should go rushing back to someone you left behind.
Our previous partners in dreams can appear to help us reconcile the past. Sometimes the ex may represent all past relationships, or the concept of “romantic love” or “The Relationship” – this is more likely if this was your first partner and they made a significant impression on you, or you were with them for a long time, and this person came to represent what it meant to be with someone. When we leave a part of our life behind, our subconscious needs to spend a bit of time reconciling our decisions and feelings, sorting out our emotions from logic, and in this way, help us to learn the profound lessons that came from any relationship and any major life change, and also to ensure we are primed and ready for the next person when they come along. If they have already come along, these dreams of an ex may be our subconscious revisiting the mistakes of the past to ensure they don’t happen again, or in a more positive frame, making sure we have learnt all the right lessons to make sure this relationship has the best chance of success.
When we leave someone behind, we don’t forget them. At some level they will always exist in our mind, so the healthiest way for this to happen is to consciously recognise what was good and what was bad about that relationship, so the memory that lives is like a lesson, a gift for our present or future partner, rather than a ghostly feeling that haunts us because we never really acknowledged what was going on.
Dreams of an ex help us to move on in our lives. They can help us “get over it” where we need to, to help us heal our pain, and sometimes, when we have something new and better, they will remind us of what we were lucky to leave behind, or what we are even more lucky to have now. having sex in a dreams with an ex-partner should not induce feelings of guilt, but I would suggest you be tactful and sensitive if you do mention such dreams to a current partner. Not everyone spends as much time as we do in understanding our dreams, and it may be easy for them to misunderstand such a dream as wish fulfilment or regret. We, of course, know better, don’t we?