Let’s look at something usually pleasant in dreams: having sex or making love. At least it should be pleasant, but sadly the reality is often quite different. Even though the dream itself of a sexual union may be enjoyable, even orgasmic, often when we wake we are plagued by feelings of doubt and confusion. “I had sex with who???”
Firstly , let us address some of the common misconceptions about sex dreams:
- Dreaming of sex with someone means that person has secret feelings for me. Uh-uh, sorry, no. Dreaming of having sex with the cute next door neighbour or the pretty girl you see on the train has nothing to do with how they feel about you. This something that is going on in your own mind, and does not in any way give you some secret insight into their feelings about you.
- Dreaming of having sex with someone means deep down I really do want to have sex with them. Chances are, probably not. In some cases sexual dreams may indeed be wish fulfilment, but more often than not we dream of having sex with someone because they represent a certain quality or particular attribute (see my post on “Other People.”) The sex is not about them individually, but what that person symbolises to you.
- Dreaming of having sex with someone is like cheating on my partner. Not at all. This is all going on in your mind, and is about integrating different parts of your self. Remember, these people aren’t really them, but a symbol. Similarly, sex it self can be a symbol of union. So you should not feel guilty about creating a union with different aspects of your own personality.
So what are dreams of making love and having sex all about then? As for any symbol, this can mean multiple things, especially when we consider the complex feelings of guilt, responsibility, commitment, love, enjoyment, power and freedom that get all wrapped up in our sexuality. The first place to start is to look at whether you enjoyed the feeling in your dream. If you did, I would recommend you not plague yourself with feelings of guilt and remorse upon waking. Think of it as the highest form of self love, that you are integrating all the aspects of your personality into a unified whole. As you relax and enjoy your own night lovers, you may realise you feel more relaxed in waking life, and that rather than detract from your waking relationship, these dreams contribute to it. You may feel closer to your partner, you may feel that the extra attention you give yourself in your dreams is enough to reduce demands on your partner so you can enjoy each other more; or these dreams may help you feel satisfied that you are passionately loved, that you don’t need to seek trivial or superficial stimulation with others elsewhere. This could be a simple as not feeling the need to flirt, to actually preventing a doomed liaison.
While a sexual union with a particular person can represent you absorbing some of the qualities that person represents to you into your own life, sex in a dream can also be a symbol for us embracing our opposite. We each have a Yin and Yang; a dark, internal, receptive, emotional right brained side and a bright, outer, active, logical left brained side. In a Jungian approach this could be our anima and animus, the female side that lives in every male and the male side that lives in every female. To dream of making love to a mysterious stranger often represents us becoming more balanced, as our two opposing sides merge in a beautiful union. This is often a sign of great growth and personal development, something that should be enjoyed and celebrated!
So before you blush and squirm at the thought of who you had sex with in your dreams last night, remember, not only is the person likely to be representative of something other than who they are, but even the very act of making love could be more about personal integration than a subliminal fantasy. It is no bad thing to love one’s self.
You may also be interested in:
The meaning of other people in dreams
The meaning of loved ones in dreams
The meaning of a wedding in dreams
The meaning of cheating in a dream (Dream Sex Part 2)
The meaning of ex-sex in a dream (Dream Sex part 3)
Photo by JOSHUA COLEMAN on Unsplash
i had a dearm tha me and my boyfriend jason dayrimple always making love althe time not owly tha somtime geting married of me and him have fighting words how badly how we want 2 be with eachother but people keep on geting in the way. so waht can i do about tha because sometime my dearms do come true.
i always having dearms tha me and my boyfriend jason dryrimple tha we alway making love with eachother or we geting married we on the beach dacing with eachother and kissing looking at eachother sometime i have dearms tha we or have figthing word how badly we want 2 stay with eachother but is this 1 girl in the way and i just can’t same get her out of the way but can i do about this because sometime my dearms do come true.
i alway dearm of the man of my dearms his name is jase but thy call him jason dayrimple i need 2 know if he is the man of my dearms
The article is very informative.I love to analyse different people,notice their reactions etc.I met a guy at my work place.I was actually very impressed with him.(Intelligence,maturity,etiquettes etc).All of a sudden, it dawned upon me that I have a crush on him.I guess,he sensed my feeling and tried to take advantage of that.Whenever we used to meet,he always wanted to talk about Sex.But in all,he is a nice guy.After few days,the crush expired.But we are still friends.I have observed him very closely.Few days ago,I got a dream of making love with him,which was very intense.When I woke up,I was little upset as there are no such feelings for him.I just consider him a good person as he has many good qualities also.So I guess the love making dream is the possibility that I admire him a lot and want to acquire few good things from him.This article is a big relief.Thanks 🙂
Dreams are not true, so do not depend on them
I dream regularly about having se ual dreams with strangers meeting in different locations school, work, the mall and the most recent in branson mo. But the twist is the stranger is always my wife I do not know her in my dream but see her face and know her body. Am I weird? I enjoy these dreams because almost every night I get to fall in love with my wife of 6 years over again.
i dream making love in my dream to my stepmother and others,what is the meaning?
thatz a bad dream. witches r after ur life using ur moda face.
A balanced, an informative and reassuring article. Thank you Amy Campion.
Last day i dream of having sex with someone whom i dont remember o saw in my dreams.After that,my penis begun to bleed.The bleeding went on and on as it gets more and more
I dream about having sex with my landlord who is deceased can you help me with this I did had a crush on him but my dream showed him in the presence of 2017 we were happy in the and it was Christmas morning please help me
i had this dream that my husband and my friend was having sex (not that really a close friend but just a neighborhood friend) what does it mean? that will be my first nightmare i guess ;( seeing my husband having sex with other girl. its freaking me out. but the real thought is me and my husband are happy together. living together with our daughter. but i just want to know what does it means. should i start to worry about it or is just a freaking unbelievable dream!
we have a same dream @jorgie should we start to worry about our dream? because i am starting to worry about it i dont know what to think now
Im engadged and had a dream about him havimg sex with alot younger female freind our daughter had the exact same dream in the same week what does it mean
This is the 5th time I have woken up in the middle of the night to go urinate and I see noticed my husband sleeping and moaning like he his making love and his penis is erected(standing).He moves his body like he his making love and then I slap him or one times wake him up.When I ask him he says he had a night mare or work stress but I suspect him 90% that he his cheating since he his always traveling for business meetings.Please what is the meaning of this dream because this happened 2 days ago again and I am not speaking with him and I suspect he his cheating
Ur husband is spiritauly possess, or he is having spirital wife, what u need to do is to have 3days fasting and prayer with ps35, ps91 and council d spirit with matthew 18:18 & and any time u see him like that just carry ur bible and start d prayer by commanding holy spirity to come and fight for u.
Well it was a strange face, am in a distance relationship, we have met before, his planning to invite me.
Am a married woman ,I dream where I make love with somebody I did not know about 5times now what is the cause.pls help me because I put a stop to it
I’m in a long distance relationship but I don’t know if I’m in love with him honestly, I’m still in love with this other guy but I’m afraid to be with him. I had a dream last night of making love to someone where I was moaning and I felt good for once about myself but I think it was the other guy and not my boyfriend because he felt like him just hold me from behind and then on plus he was all that came to mind but, it felt like it was a stranger too because my dream had me on a date then love making because I couldn’t leave but I don’t get it!!!!!!! Not to mention I’m still a virgin my boyfriend’s happy about though. *Secretly wants to lose it to the other guy though*
I’ve been with my son’s father for a almost eleven years now and we have our moments but we get on pretty well what I want to know is about my dream I had last night. In this dream my other half and I are having sex then it turns into him raping me whicheck at the time I knew in my dream it was odd then someone walked in I’m not sure and the screen switched to a group of us including my other half running and fighting some weird thing I couldn’t even see what it was then as a group we lock ourselves in a room. And then I got this overwhelming sense of lose like my other half was no longer with me but a girl in the group was showing off an engagement ring from him and what’s more weird is the last thing I remember is running out of the room to fight whatever it is we were fighting crying thinking he rapped me but he’s dead now so it doesn’t matter nothing can fix it and then I woke up. Please someone help explain this to me as I’ve literally have not been able to stop thinking about it please and thank u.
I had a dream once.. I did not remember it though… But the dream i had last night gave me glimpses of the previous one.. Making me remember it.. There was this house.. Which is two buildings from my own.. Which i saw in my dream.. Just that there were some modifications..the second and the third floor were on rent (both in real life and in my dream)..i saw a staircase outside which started from the road and led only to the second floor.. There were windows visible from outside.. But inside the room… There were none… The whole room was white-the floor the walls the ceiling.. All of it.. There was a blond guy waiting for me.. He was clearly a foreigner.. For the country i live in donot breed blonds.. I had some very intense feelings for this guy… I hav never experienced such realistic feelings.. As i had felt for this blond stranger of my dreams.. I loved him.. Soo much.. And they were well receprocated.. I saw myself hug him.. Showing how much i missed him.. He hugged me back and kissed me.. I was involved in some kind of sexual activities with him… But i didnot see any such scenes..this was the dream i had a earlier.. The dream was set in the time when my grandma was admitted in a hospital.. And my mother used to be there.. Visiting her.. And i used to sneak out at that time.. To meet him… But unbelievably i knew that my grandma was dead… (my grandma died three years back in 2013-and was admitted in a hospital before her death for a month..my dream was set in this time period… Though i was elder then i am now in my dream) i had seen glimpses of this dream while having a dream last night and that is what reminded me of this dream.. Last night i had seen that i was on a road trip of sorts with another foreigner.. But he was a brunette..my blond lover was there too.. I was tied to the brunette somehow.. Engaged.. Or in a relationship..even though i liked the brunette..i still loved the blond.. More than him.. And the intensity of my love had not decreased to the slightest.. And there were a few relatives of mine as well with us… But i donot kno who.. And i behind my relatives’back had tried to seduce my blond lover.. To get intimate with him.. Atleast once more.. As if it was a goodbye..if it was so.. I don’t know.. But we were not able to do anything for a lack of an opportunity.. And there was a moment when i had seen him pay someone.. To do something.. I don’t know what.. For me.. A gift of sorts.. Or was it given to protect me somehow i don’t know.. But somehow it showed that he was rich… And even till the end.. I had loved him intensely with a great depth.. And it wasn’t in vain.. He loved me back equally much.. Plz tell me what both of these dreams of mine mean?? The second one was like a continuation of the first… Plz tell me what they mean.. I have never felt something soo intense.. Of such depth for someone as i have felt for this blond stranger of my dreams… So plz tell me what my dreams mean…
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Pls Help Me Am Cmpltly Confused Here. 1. Big Fish With Young Men Holding Their Hands Unto It In The River Suddenly Came Out And Meet Me On The Dry Land,speaking To Me In A Strange Language Ddnt Understand. For More Than 39yrs I Hav Been In Pain,hardship And Notin Is Going On In My Iife. Accept That Movie Stories/gospel/hip/traditional songs Kept Coming To Me But I Cant Make Use Of Them. Many Dreams I Cant Say Here Ofcos I Dont Knw Whether This Is The Right Place To Discuss Thm. But I Just Need A Good Director Pls. U Can Directly Inbox Me On This +233238825181
I have had 4’dreams in the last couple of weeks of being with another woman who all want to make love to me.
I had a dream and am having sex with my wife what does it mean
Dream of making love to a strange woman under the ocean and swimming as fast as fish
Am sorry but this interpretation of dreams is the weirdest I have read all my life. Now listen my dear friends sexual dreams are a symbol that your current relationship is doomed. And if not in a relationship but you dream of a girl it’s not her or that person rather it means u have a spiritual sexual partner and she can take a shape of any person u desire maybe a celebrity or anyone else.it can even be your family member and people who have such dreams rarely find it difficult to get married or keep a relationship. Thanks