Dreaming of seeing someone else making love, especially if that someone is our partner, can really test our ability to be logical and objective. So you know by now dreams are all going on your own head, then why do you feel so worried and hurt?
The first thing to do is take a big deep breath and a reality check. Nothing is more sure to poison a relationship than suspicion and lack of trust. The next thing to do is look at why we are dreaming about our partner having sex with some one else. What can this mean? Well, I will say it again, but it can mean many things depending on what is going on in our lives.
To start to understand what this dream may mean for you, try listing down all the feelings that came up for you in your dream. Did you feel hurt, betrayed, angry, depressed? Did you feel detached like you didn’t really care? Did you feel resigned, like you were somehow expecting it to happen? Next, look at where in your life you may be having these feelings. What do these feelings remind you of?
If we remember that the person in our dream is really just us, to see our partner cheating on us can mean that in some way we are cheating on ourselves. It could mean we are lying to ourselves about our true feelings, or that we are ignoring something important, hiding it away like an illicit affair.
Dreams of seeing our partner with another can lead us to question:
- What in my life am I hiding that I should really bring out into the open?
- Where am I denying myself the love and affection I crave?
- How am I cheating myself out of something I really deserve?
Dreams of cheating can be a sign that we aren’t letting all aspects of our personality be together in a happy and harmonious way. Seeing our partner make love to someone else reminds us that we need to be involved with all aspects of who we are, and invites us to address the parts of us we ignore. Remember as well, just as the partner you see in your dream is a part of you, so too is the person they are having sex with a part of you as well. The question then, is why do you feel so detached that you have watch other parts of yourself together, and yet keep yourself so distant? What are you watching but not participating in?
Dreams of witnessing a betrayal can also be a reminder of past hurt. If you have felt let down or abandonded, cheated on or lied to in the past, you may fear the same thing happening again, which can cause these kinds of dreams to surface. But if we overcome our own insecurities and fears, we can create an atmosphere of love and trust, where relationships can thrive. Insecurity and doubt are no foundation for a happy life!
The most important things with dreams of seeing your partner with someone else, is not to imagine that this is really about your partner or the person they are with. That other “someone else” is you too. What is it about that other person that in your dream your partner likes? How can you be more like that? The “other woman” or “other man” in your dream can be a symbol for characteristics you wish to hide from your self. These kind of dreams invite us to become the other woman or other man. Write down what qualities they have, that will help you separate the person from the symbolic meaning. Maybe it’s time to embrace those qualities you are ashamed of, or let go of a past hurt and enjoy the present, and your relationship, for what it is, here and now.