Time Travel, Grace and Synchronicity

imgres
The “me from the future” seemed to visit the “me from the past”

Today I am going to share with you my most personal post to date. I am writing this in response to a wonderful challenge from Linda at litebeingchronicles. You can read more about this challenge, and Linda’s inspiring work, here.

The essence of this challenge is to consider to role of time, and how we integrate the past, present and future.  Dreams are one special way we do this. In dreams, when the usual external stimuli is reduced or even completely excluded, we are able to enter a unique temporal state where past, present and future can all exist within our minds simultaneously[1]. While this kind of experience does not often occur when conscious and awake, I would like to share with you a time when I had such an experience, and that changed my life forever – indeed, it still is!

"To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand 
And Eternity in an hour."
- William Blake

Many moons ago, when I was about 7 years old, my parents were going through a painful and messy divorce. I had yet to realise the full implications this would have on my life and personal development, but already I could feel the reverberations rocking my young world. Things were not as I had previously thought – the world was far les stable, grown-ups not infallible sources of wisdom and security, sadness was something far bigger and longer lasting than what happened when you fell over and scraped your knee or lost a favourite toy. I was growing up all of a sudden. I was lost, lonely and scared. My innocence was shattered.

In this vulnerable state I was more blessed than I could ever know. Not only was this long and traumatic experience to be the making of me, but for some reason I have yet to fully understand, I was blessed with an experience of grace.

The first magical experience alone would have been enough for me to become open to the wonder of life and chance. My little broken family – mother, brother, sister and I, dislocated from our lovely home in the country to a government funded house in a rough neighbourhood, were invited by someone (I don’t know who or how this happened) to stay at a special camp for people in difficult circumstances. It was a beautiful setting in the Australian bush, with a pool fed by a natural stream, frogs chirping, tall eucalyptus trees everywhere and dirt tracks winding through the bushland to explore. Along a ridge a railway track ran, and twice a day the train would go past carrying the bauxite from the mines far away to the aluminium refinery near the coast also many miles away. The train had dozens of carriages, and we would sit and watch it, trying to count the carriages slowly lumbering past and chewing on sourgrass until we lost count. Sometimes we would put coins on the track for the heavy wheels to flatten. We would signal to the train driver to pull his whistle, and he would do so obligingly. Summer days were spent playing in the bush, catching and releasing frogs, bugs and lizards, or floating on an old truck’s inner tube in the fresh pool with dragonflies darting over head, the sun sparkling on the water. The sense of peace I felt then I can still recall to this day in my moments of tranquility. We returned to this camp many times over the following years, and it was a tonic for my soul.  I am not sure I would have made it through those dark days without the respite of this wonderous place.

But on my first day there, all this was yet to come. I still don’t know what possessed me that very first time, in a strange, unfamiliar place, and only 7 years old, to state boldly to my mother as dusk set in, that I was going for a walk. It was decades ago, and the place set up as a haven with a perception of safety, so she let me. I walked down the twisting dirt track, through the trees, to a gentle embankment where I could look out over fields and native bushland, the railway line disappearing into the distance, a dark mysterious hill rising before me, and directly in front a clearing filled with wild grass. The sun began to set and the grass seemed to glow golden as it swayed softly in the breeze. It was a scene of such profound beauty I was transfixed. I was not raised in any religion, my father had been a scientific atheist, my mother agnostic. I knew nothing of grace, or mystical experiences. None the less, that is what I experienced. Now I would probably refer to that moment as a direct communion with the divine. There are simply no words to adequately explain that moment of pure transcendence, of peace, of myself dissolving into pure presence. Time and space seemed irrelevant, and from that moment on I would never perceive time as linear. And I knew with every fibre of my being that we are more than simply our physical bodies. But more than that, I had a sense of myself in time, of my entire life contained within a single moment. For years after I would try to explain it by saying “it was if the me from the future (perhaps even at the moment of my death?) visited the me at 7, and she assured me everything would be ok.

I have revisited that moment many times over the years, reaching out to that sad and scared little girl and comforting her as best I can when I am happy and strong. And when I am sad and scared, she reminds me too of the joy and beauty of existance. I am aware that the eternal me lives on in that moment, as she does in every other, and I am deeply grateful for this gift.

Post script: in period of great sadness in my adult life, I wrote a letter to my subconscious, asking it to guide me and be my ally. I had forgotten this until yesterday, when synchronisctically it fell out of a notebook I was looking at for another purpose. Now I find myself in a very similar situation to that of years ago, with new lessons to learn and a different perspective. As I write this I am living in a house in the Australian bush, with chirping frogs to sing me to sleep, a fresh water pond outside and tall eucalyptus trees all around. I am learning and healing again, and my two young boys are sheltered in this sanctuary of nature. I know I was guided here in anticipation of this painful event, another cradle to support me through a difficult time. I cannot help but marvel at the magic of the patterns in my life, the folding of time, and the grace bestowed upon me. I have shared this with only very few people in my life, but now recognize it for the gift it is, so I share it all with you also. May you all find your sanctuary when you need healing, and grace when your heart is in pain.

Post post script:  In searching for images to use here, I typed in the name of the old camp to discover that it is for sale!  Going to auction on the 10th October.  And recently I have been considering new places to live.  I don’t take this as a sign to buy it (many reasons, financially and practically!) but more that I still have a sacred alignment with that place.  Perhaps for both of us, it is time for a change…  At the very least, I can save some photos that I otherwise would not have had the chance to before it is developed beyond recognition!

I will let you know if any other synchronicities occur!

images-1

I now pass to the inimitable and beautiful soul of Sindy at Bluebutterfliesand me for Day 2 of the time travel challenge…

 

[1] “Dreams and the temporality of consciousness” – MacDuffe K AND Mashour GA

Am J Psychol. 2010 Summer; 123(2): 189-97

Advertisements

29 Comments

  1. Hi Amy,

    While the challenge is all about the dimension of time. the internet beautifully bridges the dimension of space. How fitting that a blogger in Australia leads off this collaborative project created by a blogger in the US!

    I am so pleased and honored that you trust your intimate story with us here. I can sense the delicacy in your tone and choice of words and imagery. Grace is such a gift that is rarely if ever expected but always welcome. I know how sacred these energetic portals can be. I call them my power places and Eckhart Tolle writes about them as well.

    Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful ethereal story with is. It is balm for the soul

    peace and light,

    Linda

    Like

    1. Thank you for this opportunity to participate and share such an essential part of me Linda. With the gentle encouragement of kindred souls such as yourself I am slowly growing braver, and revealing the most authentic aspects of my Self. I very much look forward to what others have to contribute, not least your self!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What a beautiful story that shows the true connection we have with ‘all of ourself’ and how in times of dispair we comfort ourself even when we don’t understand… Thankyou for sharing and so great to meet you hear on WordPress…. Love to you barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Barbara, and it is lovely to “meet” you also! I think it is testament to the fact that our soul knows our journey, and while our conscious minds may struggle with lessons we have to learn, there is always loving support available to us. Though it may feel so, we are never really alone… And making new friends along the way is another wonderful gift 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Amy,
    I’m amazed that you live in Australia, all those years reading your blog I was so sure that you are from the USA 🙂 Generally that wouldn’t matter, but this time I have this feeling of magic, and it felt so good to read this post of yours.
    It’s kind of off-topic, but I still want to share this with you. Once you explained me my re-occurring dream. As soon as I started reading what you wrote to me about that dream, I had full understanding of that dream. I couldn’t express this understanding in words or explain it logically, but I knew that the dream reached me finally, with your help, and it felt like a window or a door opened inside and lots of light got in. And it has never occurred again for several years already.
    And now I have another reoccurring symbol in my dreams, even when dreaming I know that it means something. And last time when I saw this symbol in my dream even without being awake I knew that it’s important, and then in this dream you came to my place just to chat with me. It was some time ago (may be a month, but I’m bad at ‘measuring’ time), and now I don’t remember the details, but the dream was so fun and clear and vivid and full 🙂 When I woke up I thought that most probably I finally got the message, may be again with your help, although I could not and cannot find words for that understanding, I just have a feeling I got it. We’ll see 🙂
    Daiva

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Daiva, I am so humbled by your words! I remember your dream, and am so glad it feels clear to you now. It is fun to think that you have had another dream that was special to you, and that I shared in, in some way! I wish you all the very best in your quest for meaning, and hope that any words I can offer to help may be a source of insight for you. Thanks so much for reading, and sharing my own personal stories now too!

      Like

  4. Hello Amy.. You story touched me, and for reasons I’m unable even to myself explain brought tears to my eyes, as I felt your 7 yr old self and the lonely place you found yourself in..

    I am so pleased your young self was able to reach out and bring back, holding time still and yet expanding it beyond our comprehension so that you were comforted by Source, knowing all would be well.. And even more delighted to read you often reach out to this same memory to capture its energy to help you through each hurdle ..

    I am all for believing in synchronicities, and each one comes for a reason and holds it’s gifts.. Learning to read the ‘Signs’ is also a gift.. and you seem to be well in tune with them..

    Keep following your heart and I know the Divine will always be guiding you along your journey..

    Lovely post, and so nice to meet you Amy..

    Love and Blessings..
    Sue ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So lovely to “meet” you too here Sue, and thank you so much for your kind words. It is always a big step for me to reveal deeper sides to my own self, yet I spend so much time exploring these aspects with others who share so freely with me! My journey now I feel is about expressing myself with more authenticity, and in building connections with like minded(and hearted) souls – such as yourself. Thanks so much for reading, and offering your support. It really means a lot to me.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow Amy, that brought tears to my eyes. A very special story, and moment that you shared with us, bringing us into the oneness, and serenity of that moment. I love your writing ❤

    Thanks so much for the kind introduction sweet sister~

    Namaste
    Sindy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah my friend, you have such a kind and gentle heart, for me to have touched it is a great honour. With support from friends like you, I become braver – so look out, you are likely to get much more writing with kind words like that! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think it is beautiful that a moment of majesty containing all moments came to visit that seven year old girl. I think we can all, when we look back at our lives, find the moments where we walked through the rain without getting wet, so to speak, where something happened that resounds throughout our lives. Part of the beauty of this series is realizing this is wholly natural, and part of our experience of being human…

    Peace
    Michael

    Like

    1. thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful words Michael. I cannot help but be curious if you too have an experience that has “resound(ed) throughout (y)our life?” There are still more places on the challenge left if you would like to share! 🙂
      But not to pressure, just an invitation. I am cautiously brave, timidly bold, as I step out into this new landscape of new open souls and shared personal experiences. More than anything I thank you for your support. And how often in my childhood, even into early adulthood, did I run out into the rain??? Perhaps there is another practice I may need to revisit – and allow the literal to transfigure the symbolic….

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi Amy, I had already signed up for the 14th! I enjoy meeting new people through these challenges, and the appreciation for support is mutual. Thank you for such a warm welcome here… I can’t say I ran into the rain all the time, but I remember some moments of exuberance for sure! There was an encounter with Great Danes as a three or four year old that blew my mind entirely… I think had to take a nap and sleep that one off…! 🙂

      Michael

      Like

  7. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story, Amy. I am so glad you had nature through your ordeal with the divorce of your parents. Such a sweet innocent child. You said your innocence was shattered, but it seems like the pieces of it came back together because you speak with a beautiful childlike innocence. Maybe because your future self gave it back to you, or maybe your connection with nature, or the divine grace that you experienced, but it is a gift. Your writing is captivating. Thank you for sharing your Self with us.
    Peace,
    Mary

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much for your kind words and support Mary, it is very much appreciated when writing something that require me to become so vulnerable! I am very glad you have found the Dream Well, and hope you continue to enjoy my future writings. Wishing you all the very best

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: